Are you a mother or a father who does not give many rules and rarely disciplines your children? If the answer to the question is yes, then this parenting style can be categorized as permissive parenting. The question is, is parenting like that really good for the growth and development of the little one?
Permissive parenting is the opposite of helicopter parenting. Permissive parenting is often known as indulgent parenting because it is characterized by the freedom and openness that parents give to their children.
Permissive parents try to raise their children in a non-authoritarian way, so they rarely set clear rules and expectations for their children.
Characteristics of Permissive Parenting
The following are some of the characteristics of parents who apply permissive parenting:
- Not setting a lot of rules or standards of behavior for children
- Do not give clear responsibility to children
- Not consistent with the rules that they made
- Rarely discipline or give consequences to children
- Trust children to make big decisions, even though these decisions need to be considered by parents
- Often give gifts or money so that children behave well
- More like a friend than a parent
- Not limiting children’s playing time, including screen time to play gadgets or online games
Impact of Permissive Parenting on Children
Even though parents have good intentions and want to give full love to their children, implementing permissive parenting actually has the risk of having an adverse impact on the children’s growth and development and character building.
The following are some of the negative effects of permissive parenting for children:
1. Low academic achievement
There is research that says that permissive parenting has a risk of making children’s academic achievement low. This is because permissive parents rarely set targets and generally do not have any expectations of their children.
So, this can then make the child lack motivation and fighting power to achieve good grades or maybe various goals in their life.
2. Difficult to make decisions
Parents who care for their children permissively will generally interfere less or rarely give input in many things that need to be decided by the children. They tend to let children make decisions and solve their own problems.
In fact, children still need the role of parents when they are facing problems or have to make decisions. If this happens continuously, this can result in children having poor social skills.
3. Difficult to manage stress
Children who are raised with permissive parenting styles will generally have difficulty managing stress. This is because they are not used to controlling their emotions well, especially when faced with situations where they don’t get what they want.
Research states that children who are not accustomed to managing their stress well are more at risk of developing into individuals who lack empathy, find it hard to get along with people, and have a tendency to do unhealthy things as adults, such as frequently drinking alcohol or using illegal drugs.
4. Difficulty managing time or habits
Because they are not used to rules and discipline, children who are raised with permissive parenting also usually have difficulty managing their own time and habits. This can lead to them spending too much time playing and too little time studying.
This problem can make a child’s academic achievement problematic and it can also be difficult for them to be well educated at school.
Way to Change Permissive Parenting
Given the unfavorable impact on children’s development, permissive parenting should be replaced with other parenting styles, such as authoritative parenting. The following are some ways that mothers and fathers can apply to change permissive parenting to authoritative parenting:
- Make ground rules at home for children, such as regarding household chores, sleep schedule, or play schedule. This is useful for making children understand how they should behave and be responsible.
- Try to stay firm and consistent with the rules that are made.
- Give an explanation to the child why the rules that you make need to be obeyed.
- Give consequences, in the form of a warning or light punishment if the child violates the rules. Besides, make sure the child understands why these consequences were given to them.
- Appreciate every effort the child makes to comply with the rules, such as by giving praise or a warm hug.
Pampering children occasionally is fine. However, if it is too often or to apply permissive parenting, then it is not good for growth and development. Therefore, if all this time you have been accustomed to undergoing permissive parenting, try changing this parenting pattern to be better. However, if you find it hard to change permissive parenting, do not hesitate to consult a psychologist regarding this matter.