Everyone knows that divorce is a difficult time for families. It means it is a difficult time for not only parents but also children. In most cases, parents refuse to meet because they still feel sad or heartbroken. In fact, they have to because they still have to raise children.
For these serious issues, there is a thing called a co-parenting method, which is the opposite of the parallel parenting style. As a parent, you are free to compare these two and then choose the one that is more suitable according to your current condition.
What is Parallel Parenting Like?
“Parallel parenting is known as a parenting technique in which divorced couples avoid contact by limiting their interactions. This can be done by making a written parenting plan that both can access and agree on.”
Creating a Co-Parenting Plan
Parallel parenting is defined as a parenting technique in which divorced couples avoid contact by limiting their interactions. With this parenting style, both parents are allowed to be involved in the child’s life without having to be involved in the life of their ex-spouse. How to do it?
1. Create a Parenting Plan
Coming up with a parenting plan is needed if you are going to limit interactions with your ex. This parenting plan refers to a written document that contains information about how you will raise your children separately, including a schedule of when your child will spend time with you and your ex.
One of the reasons why creating a parenting plan is important is to avoid miscommunication or disagreements between parents. Make sure to communicate that no changes to the plan are made without the written consent of each party. Several things to include in a parenting plan are:
- Schedule pick-up and delivery
- Schedule holidays and birthdays for children
- Communication plan for parents
2. Create a Parenting Notebook
Parenting netbooks or shared documents are useful for you and your ex to communicate with each other. Through these, you can talk about important developments in the lives of your children. With them, you and your partner can leave notes about a few things about your children without having to meet face to face, including about their behavior, needs, medical appointments, and so on. You and your ex can leave the book in the mailbox. Besides, it is also possible to entrust it to your children or create an online document that you two can access and edit.
3. What Happens When There Is A Problem?
Obviously, not all plans can go well as planned. Sometimes, things happen and prevent the plans from prospering. As a parent, you must be prepared for the possibility of changes that occur and work together to make other plans as a joint solution.
Controlling Emotions to Maintain Children’s Feelings
Divorce is such a difficult situation for all the parties involved, especially for children. As a parent, you must put your children as the top priority instead of fighting with your ex. Below are several things that divorced parents should do:
1. Do Not Ask Children to Be Media Conveying Messages
Children clearly need time to adapt to this divorce situation. Do not give them more burden by showing that you and your ex are not on good terms. One of the things that you might do is to make it seem like the parents do not want to have a conversation with each other at all. As a parent, you should maintain authority and not show displeasure with your partner.
2. Refuse Competition
While it is normal that you might be jealous when hearing how happy your children are when they are with your ex, try to control your emotions. Do your best to resist the urge to compete with your ex and focus on how to make your children loved and supported.
3. Help Children to Pack Stuff
Whether they like it or not, children have to get used to packing things when moving from one parent to another. As a parent, you should be able to make them more comfortable by making sure they remember to bring their favorite things.
