Apparently, there are four popular parenting styles, one of which is authoritarian parenting. According to Aude Henin, PhD, this parenting style is characterized by high behavioral and psychological control including rigid expectations to make the children comply with adult rules and demands, harsh discipline, and punishment for violated expectations.
Also, Aude Henin, PhD, added that the parents who practice authoritarian parenting tend to show less tolerance for children’s expressions of needs and demands and have less focus on children’s emotions.
Read also: 4 Signs Parents Are Too Strict with Children
Usually, for authoritarian parents, physical punishment and yelling are normal things for the children to get when they make mistakes. Seeing this fact, surely authoritarian parenting will be very detrimental to the children both for now and for their future.
Characteristics of Authoritarian Parenting
Here are the characteristics of authoritarian parenting that the parents should know:
1. Demanding but unresponsive
The parents who apply authoritarian parenting have many rules and often regulate all aspects of their child’s life and behavior, both at home and in public. both at home and in public. Aside from that, parents with authoritarian parenting also have many unwritten rules that are expected to be obeyed by the child even though the child is completely unaware of the rules. by the child even though the child is completely unaware of these rules. Instead of explaining to the child about the unwritten rules that are set, parents with authoritarian parenting tend to expect the child to know the rules and follow them.
2. Has little warmth
The parents with an authoritarian parenting style are often cold, aloof and harsh. Also, they tend to be fond of nagging or yelling at the children rather than providing encouragement and praise. Generally, parents with an authoritarian parenting view discipline more than children’s fun and expect the children to be seen rather than heard.
3. Rarely gives explanations for punishment
Usually, parents with an authoritarian parenting style have no problem with corporal punishment, which often involves beatings. Rather than relying on positive reinforcement, parents with an authoritarian parenting style prefer to react quickly and harshly when their children break the rules.
4. Rarely let children make their own choices
The parents with authoritarian parenting style tend not to give their children choices. Instead, parents with authoritarian parenting style set rules and approaches that must match their way of disciplining children. In essence, the parents with authoritarian parenting style have little room for negotiation and rarely allow their children to make their own choices.
5. Impatient with children’s bad behavior
Authoritarian parents often expect their children to figure out for themselves why they should avoid certain behaviors or unwanted behaviors. This is because authoritarian parents do not have much patience to explain it to their children. Also, this type of parent tends to spend little energy talking about feelings with the child.
6. Difficult to trust children
Most authoritarian parents find it difficult or even impossible to trust their own children to make good choices. The parents with this parenting style tend not to give their children much freedom to show that they can demonstrate good behavior on their own. Instead of allowing the children to make their own decisions and face the natural consequences of their choices, parents with authoritarian parenting like to direct the children to ensure that they do not make mistakes.
7. Using shame to discipline children
The parents with authoritarian parenting can be very critical and use shame as a tactic to force the children to follow the rules. Also, parents with authoritarian parenting tend not to hesitate to use phrases like “Why do you always do that?” to their children. Rather than looking for ways to build children’s self-esteem, parents with authoritarian parenting often believe that shame will motivate children to do better.
The Negative Effects of Authoritarian Parenting on Children
Children who are raised by authoritarian parents tend to be as follows:
- Fearful or too shy to be around others.
- Utilize obedience and success as factors to earn love or feel loved.
- Easy to adjust but also prone to depression and anxiety.
- Display more aggressive behavior towards others.
- Displaying less prosocial behavior.
- Difficulty in dealing with social situations due to lack of social competence.
- Have lower self-esteem.
- Have more negative symptoms such as hyperactivity and behavioral problems.
- Struggles with self-control due to rarely making choices while experiencing their natural consequences.
Now, it will be good for parents to start learning to apply more of the much better authoritative parenting style. This includes listening to your child without judgment, validating your child’s feelings, setting reasonable rules, and following through with consequences consistently, and avoiding physical punishment.