Why do we get angry? The simplest answer is in accordance with Bartholomew and Simpson’s statement that says:
“We get angry because we are human beings. Anger is a normal human emotion. Human anger is more complex than the anger we see other animals expressing.”
Anger is normally experienced by almost every human being at various phases of development, from babies and kids to adolescents and adults. Due to hormonal changes and physical development, adolescence is a period of human development that is hard to control emotionally.
If you’re an teen who struggles to control their emotions, read on because we’ll show you several strategies to easily control your emotions as well as the reasons why you struggle to manage your anger. Okay, let’s check them out below!
Why Do Teenagers Find It Hard to Control Their Emotions?
Although both humans and animals experience anger, anger in humans is frequently viewed as a human emotion that serves as the basic instinct for self-defense. Furthermore, humans are required to vent anger in the right way, without harming other parties or conducting violence.
However, it is difficult for teenagers to respond appropriately to a threatened situation because adolescence is a stage of human development marked by erratic and unstable emotional tension.
Well, these emotional conditions really encourage the emergence of anger in teens when they are facing a threatened situation. Some experts revealed that anger definitely has the potential to negatively affect the development of emotional, physical, behavioral, educational, and social aspects. Of course, anger management is very necessary so that teens can play a useful role in their environment without committing any offenses.
According to the study conducted by Liptak and Leutenberg in 2011, teenagers who managed to deal with their anger and could solve problems related to their emotions were more developed in academics, friendships, and social relations.
Golden, a psychologist and anger expert, also revealed that the management of these emotions can be learned by teenagers both from their parents through examples and instructions as well as from school.
Reportedly, there are a lot of mothers who complain about the parenting of their teenagers, who easily get angry. When their parents do not allow them to hang out with friends or are asked to turn off their gadgets, they can raise their voice and even scream out of anger. Of course, the uncontrolled anger of teenagers often makes their parents afraid and upset at once.
Some parents even suspect that their teens have mental issues. However, the condition of adolescents with unstable and erratic emotions is normal. In general, unstable emotions can affect any teen, including those who are quiet and cute.
6 Strategies to Control Anger in Teenagers
Even though anger in teenagers is a little bit scary and uncontrolled, it doesn’t mean that parents ignore their emotions. Teenagers, however, do not understand why they feel uncomfortable, both physically and mentally.
As a parent of an teenager, you must understand his feelings and seek the best strategies for controlling his emotions in order for him to remain stable and under control. Thankfully! This post will show you six methods for controlling their anger. Here they are:
1. Understand what they feel
Understanding what they’re feeling is a must. You have to understand that they also don’t want to behave badly. If they can express their feelings, they also want to go to war with the conditions they do not like, but they sometimes cannot control their emotions properly.
Keep in mind that a child who tends to get angry easily may be depressed. If your teen gets angry when they ignore your orders, make sure to calm yourself and understand them.
2. Stay near them when they get angry
When your teenagers get too angry, never leave them alone. There is also no need to intervene since some teenagers tend to self-harm when their feelings and themselves are out of control. As a parent, it is very important to always keep an eye on their safety.
3. Never invite them for discussion
You need to know that when an teen gets angry, part of his brain is in “attack mode.” It occurs when he will easily attack and receive no input. Of course, the signals of communication and thinking will also become dysfunctional. What you should do is let your teen calm down before inviting them to talk.
4. Try to empathize with the situation
When they get angry, you can try to give yourself time to cool off instead of making excuses or arguing with them. Keep in mind that your teen is depressed, and try to say the following constructive sentences:
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- “You can really go through all this.”
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- “I’m sorry you have to pass this through, though it is bad for you.”
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- “I understand what you feel, but you can easily go through all this and you’d be better.”
It’s highly recommended for you to say it once and not repeat it.
5. Start talking when they’ve calmed down
You can start talking to them once their emotions have calmed down. You may already understand how to start communicating with them since not all teenagers can speak directly; some may be more comfortable communicating via text message or email.
Of course, you should make this communication about them, not about you. Instead of giving advice on what to do, you should inquire about their condition. Try to have an in-depth conversation with them, asking what made them angry, what hurt them, how you understand them, and what they think the solution is.
6. Improve your relationship with them
The last thing you can do is improve your relationship with them. Not only your teen, as a parent, you also need to play a role to improve this situation. It is best to find a solution together. You can try to listen to what they have to say and tell them how you feel. Asking for forgiveness is one of the best solutions for both.
Well, overcoming your teenager’s anger is a way of talking that can bring the relationship between parents and children closer. It also builds children’s trust in their parents. Thus, these are the six strategies to control anger in adolescents you can try. Good Luck!!!
