Every parent hopes that by disciplining their children, their children will obey them. When it comes to disciplining their children, there are some parents who are too strict. Even though children should be disciplined, parents still have to set limits and be wise in giving their children rules.
If parents are too strict in disciplining their children, it can affect their personalities in the future. Some of the effects that occur when parents are too strict on their children are that they tend to become overly worried and insecure, behave aggressively or otherwise be too shy around other people, have difficulty socializing, and even have difficulty controlling themselves.
If you also discipline your children with too strict rules, the risk that may occur is that they will lie a lot in an effort to avoid punishment. To identify whether or not you are too strict with children when it comes to disciplining them, there are four main signs that you may be too strict with them. Let’s check them out!
4 Signs Parents Are Too Strict with Children
Parents’ parenting styles are extremely diverse, ranging from strict to wise. However, there are some signs that parents discipline their children in a way that may be too strict. Here they are:
1. Praise their children only on their best result
There is no doubt that praising your children is very important. However, if you only praise them for their best results, your children may assume that you only love them when they succeed.
If all this time you have always praised your children only for their best results, try to change that right now. You’d be better off to keep praising your children even if they fail or do not achieve the expected results, as long as they have tried well.
2. Give orders without guidance
Parents who are too strict with their children will only give orders without guidance. Of course, their children should obey right away, even though they do not understand what they have to do. If you realize that you always do this, try to give them freedom as long as they are responsible for what they have to do.
If you find it hard, you can try to change your orders into questions. Of course, you have to say it in a polite tone. For example, “Would you like to tidy up your bedroom or put the dirty clothes in the bucket?”
3. Have a zero-tolerance policy
Giving your children clear rules is very important to allow them to have their own responsibilities. However, it is also important to recognize that there are always exceptions to the rules. Instead of applying an authoritarian parenting style, it would be better to show a willingness to evaluate your children’s behavior in the context of the circumstances.
Parents who are too strict with children tend not to see the cause or reason when they do not do what they want. For example, you may want your children to keep their clothes clean, but instead they wear dirty clothes.
If you find it, you shouldn’t get angry right away. It’s highly recommended to first ask the reason and let your children explain it. Of course, you’ll understand why they’re wearing dirty clothes; who knows what they did to get their clothes dirty?
4. Nag a lot and always give punishment
Nagging or even giving punishment to your children is okay, but you should give it within reasonable limits. Otherwise, if you nag a lot or often give punishment, it can make your children afraid to do something. Further, it will affect their behavior, as they may find it hard to be independent and less creative.
Read also: How to Train Children to Be Independent
Switch Your Parenting Style from Authoritarian to Authoritative
Remember that, as a parent, you must be even more cautious in raising your children. If you use an “authoritarian” parenting style, for example, by becoming “tiger parents,” it can have a negative impact on your children’s personalities.
Instead of sticking with an authoritarian parenting style that tends to cause your children stress, it would be better to switch to an authoritative parenting style, also known as a democratic parenting style.
According to some studies, children with authoritarian parents are more likely to suffer from depression and low self-esteem. Otherwise, children with authoritative parents tend to be self-controlled and confident.
To make it easier for you to apply an authoritative parenting style, there are several characteristics of this style you must know. Here they are:
- Encourage your children to express their opinions and further discuss what they want and feel.
- Adjust your expectations based on your children’s health.
- Accept and listen to your children’s opinions, even if they do not always agree.
- Give clear reasons for punishment.
- Believe that your children also must be respected since they have their own needs, even though they have to follow your rules and orders.
- Realize that you must be wise as a parent, even though you have power over their children.
Knowing that giving your children too many rules and orders will have a negative impact on their personalities, now is a good time for you to discipline your children with wiser rules and orders.
However, disciplining your children will really require patience. If you are having difficulty parenting your children, you can seek the assistance of a psychologist, who can advise you on how to best parent your children based on their personalities.
